The art of the tough conversation

No one likes receiving bad news, unfortunately, sometimes the bearer of bad news is a broker. Being denied a claim can cause anger, frustration, and disappointment. Knowing this going into the call can be stressful and stress can be your enemy. It creates tunnel vision and inhibits the mental flexibility needed to deal effectively with the shifting sands of a bad news call.

Confidence, or rather the lack thereof, is the biggest issue when it comes to coping with the stress of bad news calls. Confidence is most heavily dependent upon your belief in the message. If you do not believe that what you are telling your client is “right”, you will seem uncertain and you will not be able to convince them of the appropriateness of the message. Learn everything you can about the reasons for the bad news. Anticipate any questions and objections that the client may have and have answers ready.

Confidence also needs knowledge and experience. If you don’t have both, these conversations can be awkward. While knowledge can be acquired quickly, experience takes time. If you are like most people, you acquire experience mainly by doing, and learning from the mistakes you make along the way. So, do not be afraid of mistakes.

Here are some simple tips to help you in being the bearer of bad news.  

1. Focus your mind on why the discussion is necessary and not how it will go.
2. Empathize with the recipient as it will help you to be more objective about the reactions to the news.
3. Show respect by being courteous and truthful.
4. Avoid any hint of condescension.
5. Be clear and concise on how you deliver the news.   
6. Give your client an opportunity to ask questions and then answer them precisely and succinctly. [Remember, questions usually indicate a desire for a solution.]
7. If your client wants to vent, allow for it, if it is within professional boundaries.
8. If the interaction rises to a provocation, you risk losing control of the narrative and it might be time to step away and bring in someone else.
9. Avoid using words like, “blame” and “fault”. Attempts to assign responsibility for the bad news, generally makes the tone of the call even more adversarial.
10. It is important to recognize that sometimes “good enough” is just that. Know when you’ve achieved all you can achieve.

Remember, there is no absolute formula for delivering “bad news”. There are too many variables. The process is more art than science. Having said that, preparation, confidence, and experience will help you to navigate these unhappy conversations more effectively.